Every Farmer’s Speed Dial

This Week In Ag #163

“Got ‘em on speed dial.”

Before we had voice activation or favorites on our mobile phones, a common way to prioritize important contacts was to put them on speed dial (it was also the subject of a hilarious Seinfeld episode). This allowed you to simply push and hold a single button to quickly dial an important contact’s phone number.

Farmers have their own list of speed-dial-worthy contacts—numbers that are especially handy during the busy field work season. Recently, I thumbed through my old contacts and identified some usual suspects universal to most farmers.

• Service managers at equipment dealerships. Breakdowns are inevitable. And they usually occur at the most inopportune times. Depending on the issue, you could usually call an understanding service manager at the equipment dealership. He would quickly diagnose it, then walk you through the repair process, knowing you’d go to his store to buy the parts. But now, with farm machines driven by electronics, you’re likely calling a service truck and paying $250/hr from the moment they leave the shop.

• Parts guys at equipment dealerships. “Do you have it? Then have it ready, I’m sending my parts runner to come get it.”

• Grain elevator buyers. Farmers follow the grain markets all day, every day. And the bid price this hour can dramatically change the next. So you need to react fast when you’re forward selling grain.

• Tire shop dispatcher. Tires take a lot of abuse on the farm. Fortunately, there are shops in rural areas that offer dedicated farm service. For us, it was Tire Marketing, run by a great brother/sister team. Their in-field service guy was Big Jim, whose name was befitting. He’d seemingly lift a tractor tire with one arm. And he’d always get to me asap. Dad and Uncle Gary had a tendency to overload grain trucks and wagons, which led to many visits by Big Jim each fall. After personally receiving a few bills from Tire Marketing, I soon discontinued that practice.

• Backhoe operator. When you’re working ground or planting in a dry field and suddenly come across a wet spot, you know what that means. Broken tile line. That’s when I called Marvin Landholm and his backhoe came to the rescue.

• Veterinarian. If you have livestock, they are listed as number one.

• Ag retailer (especially if you use custom applicators). “When are you going to get over here to spray?”

• Chow wagon. This is the country version of DoorDash. Meals-on-wheels, direct to the field. For me, this was mom. Although she’d usually be the one contacting me before lunch and supper. Hamburgers or tenderloins? Subs or hot dogs? Will you be eating on the go, or can you sit for a while? Does that mean you can sit for chili? What about pie? Being in the field isn’t exactly conducive to being on a diet.